I am writing this on a ship, on my way to Helsinki, Finland. We're playing at Letkurock Festival tonight. Headlining the main stage is us and Frantic Amber from Sweden. Never seen them live.. Also playing tonight are Finnish bands V for Violence and Black Light discipline. We played with V before.. A few years ago. Wonder how they sound tonight..
it's our fourth festival this year. First one in Finland. Which is strange since Finland is really heavy on rock festivals each summer. But it's a start. We'll get there. For us, four festivals is already a big step ahead. And we've had really great responses from all of our shows so far. But even more pleasing to me is seeing how the shows really pull the live band together! You can have all the rehearsals you can fit in ten years but you're still not ready for a live show. You only get that stage experience and connection on an actual stage.. I love it, because during a live gig, your each move matters! You can't play half-assed.. You can't do anything half-assed or you kill the song! Everything matters and you get no second chance. So that is where the band is giving their most and I feel at home. I can really go into my songs and live them through. In a rehearsal room.. I can't. There is always a distance between me and the music, because noone is in the moment.. It's all about technique and.. Who plays what and how and where.. There is no adrenaline and no emotion... No fear. No fear of failure.
And the songs at the rehearsals,
they are dead.
Like wax statues. Lifelike, but without a soul. And we are dressing them up and making them look all pretty...That's just how it is. But on stage.. They come to life.
On a record though.. They are not dead. They are like beautiful photos, carefully edited and retouched to the last little detail to please the eyes.. well.. ears, of the listener. And they can have a clear look and feel and message. And they can have a hidden message.. And they can have a dialogue with you.. They can ask the right questions.. Or answer them.
On the record, they are God. They are the best they can be and ever achieve to be. And they have as many faces as there are people who listen to them.
That's why I don't try to appeal to anyone when I write music. Anyone but myself..
and I have wandered off that path a few times..
only to realize how wrong it is and how terribly unfair it can be to the music itself.